On the cusp of this hideous pandemic I made a decision to attend the Cheltenham festival. I didn’t just go for an afternoon, I went every single day. Feeling haggard and guilt ridden for attending an event that in hindsight shouldn’t have gone ahead but certainly having had the final hurrah I drove back to London with a thumping headache. Whilst parking my car and scraping my alloys which I am exceptionally good at, I just couldn’t suppress this feeling of needing a friend to ride out this unpredictable period of my life with.
I’ve panic bought a lot of things in my life but never anything with a heartbeat. Welcome home Monty Toffolo, who weighed 2.6kg upon arrival at my home in SW London.
I mean he hasn’t done an Amber Heard in my bed yet which is a definite perk (lets brush over one excited accidental wee wee) he hardly barks I’ve heard it once when I accidentally stood on his toe and I actually cried at the thought of hurting him. He is so like his Mummy – if allowed will nail a whole tub of ice cream from the bin and nearly kill me with the worry of bad dog gastroenteritis.
This creature follows me everywhere. When I am on the loo, when in the bath when I nip up to grab a hair tie and backdown the stairs again we go. I cannot stress this obsession we have with each other, we are a blonde and ginger double act.
I am verging on psychotic with my obsession for this dogs good health and happiness. Tony The Vet is on my speed dial. I’ve fallen so madly in love with this animal that I’ve even researched freezing his sperm, because a friend mentioned in passing how they regretted neutering their dog. Poor Tony The Vet opening his iMessage reading another bizarre message from me “BUT WHAT IF THE SPERM FREEZING COMPANY GOES BUST WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO HIS LOAD???”
Every day when he launches himself on me, I feel a warm flush of pride when I admire his supermodel legs and devilishly handsome face. He has a brilliant trick of jumping up on the dining room table – mortifyingly terrible behaviour which I find so unbelievably funny.
Perhaps Monty is the responsibility and unconditional love I’ve been craving for a seriously long time.
